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PROFESSOR PLUM
I am Professor Plum. BA, MA, PhD... that's me. I am an author by trade, an intellect by birth and an American by choice. I was born in London, raised in New York, attended Oxford and years later became part of the British Think Tank in the States. It was in Washington that I met Mr. Boddy. He was a lobbyist for the oil industry. He asked me to ghost write a book for him about government involvement in the oil industry, for a handsome fee. Indeed, I agreed. As Somerset Maughm said, "Money is like a sixth sense. You can't make use of the other five without it."

MISS SCARLET
I am Miss Scarlet. I'm an actress. Well, a singer. No, more like a performer. You know, I do it all... or so that's what my men friends tell me. No one knows this, but I first met Mr. Boddy, when I was performing in Las Vegas. I opened for a jog juggling act, which played every Tuesday at three a.m. at Billy's Lonestar Bar, Grill and Casino. Mr. Boddy was in Vegas on business. Saw my show, loved it, and asked if I would give him an encore in hotel room. Well, you know me... I love an audience.

COL. MUSTARD
Colonel Mustard here. I’ve rushed ramparts, breached barricades, and pillaged parapets … with a single strategy … to woo the one who would walk wistfully with me in matrimony. It was not denial, not disruption, not delay, but dedication that gave me the gall, the gumption, the guts to charm the lady, then to festoon my fiancé with the fanciest of favors. But she snubbed my sentiment, assailed my affections. Blasphemy. Heresy. Tyranny. The lady allied with Mr. Boddy … a most grievous ordeal. But I will defend my honor with zeal, stand my ground firm as a rock, storm the citadel of passion, and win back Mrs. Peacock. In the campaign to liberate the heart, stay steadfast, denounce the dastardly deeds of the detractor, and never surrender!

MRS. PEACOCK
I am Mrs. Peacock: well-known, well-traveled and well-preserved. I am rose of the Peacock Family and Chairperson of the Board of Peacock enterprices, a position I acquired with the death of my first husband, Anthony. My second husband, Neville, gave me an authentic Renoir. Vincenzo, my third, my villa in Capri. My fourth, a 10-carat diamond ring. I've forgotten my fifth completely. He gave me... nothing. I'm happy to say I'm a newlywed again. Mr. Boddy recently became my sixth. I have wealth. I have power. I have Caitlyn Jenner's plastic surgeon.

MRS. WHITE
My name is Mrs. White. I hate the Mrs. part, but that's what I'm called by Mr. Boddy, who I lives with, as I'm his housekeeper, but he don't pay me enough to be called both, so I say I'm just his housekeeper, and I don't mean to say I lives with 'im, 'cause I got me own teeny, tiny mattress in the basement, where I sleep on a thin, thin, thin mattress on a cot what ain't fit for prisoners in a jail cell. And the food! I get scraps, leftovers, tasteless, gristly stuff the dog won't eat. And I works seven long, hard days, with no rest for me weary bones, me weary muscles, me weary hands, feet, eyes, nose, hair. I need a drink.

MR. GREEN
Green's the name. Money's the game. I'm sultan of the stock market, king of commodities -- an entrepreneur. I got me a national chain of beauty salons called Teasin' Your Blues Away. I own the world's most popular discount air carrier, Pennies in Heaven. And I'm part of a joint venture with Mr. Boddy, which specializes in the restoration of ancient monuments, called Colossal Nips and Tucks. Our recent project is the Great Pyramids. We're gonna protect them from the elements by covering them with vinyl siding. What a concept: sandstone-colored siding that blends into the stone, so you don't even know it's there. I'm a genius.